Monday, October 10, 2011

[Barbology] Beginnings


My first exposure to poetry was in the form of a child’s prayer that rhymed. It terrified me!  And the worst thing about it was I was supposed to say it out loud every night before going to sleep.
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
What were the adults thinking?  Seriously! I dreaded going to sleep, for fear I might die. And I did not see the logic in saying these words at bedtime but not at nap time. What if I died napping? What if the roof caved in? What if there was a fire like in the little cloth book given to me on my 4th birthday --  “Pauline and the Matches”? Would the Lord not take my soul at nap time? So many things I did not understand. So many things I still do not understand.
Very early on, I realized the adults were fairly useless when it came to answering my questions. They either didn’t know very much or they didn’t want to let me in on whatever it was they did know. I would have to find things out for myself. Learning to read seemed like an excellent idea.
I devoured books. Given a choice between reading and eating, sleeping or playing with other childen, reading won out more often than not. “A Child’s Garden of Verses” entertained me for days. I read the verses over and over until I knew most by heart. Poetry and I had a rough beginning; now it is as much a part of me as breath. Through the years, my exposure to poets broadened and my taste galloped over terrain between Dorothy Parker and Charles Bukowski
I have always been interested in “people poems” – often those with a psychological twist or a little surprise that causes the reader to release a tiny “ooh” at the end. I will leave you with one of my favorite poems by Bukowski that has not yet failed to elicit my sigh of “ooh”.

Bluebird
Charles Bukowski

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I’m not going
to let anybody see
you

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he’s
in there.

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but i’m too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out but I’m too clever,
I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody’s asleep
I say, I know that you’re there
so don’t be
sad.
then I put him back, but he’s singing a little
in there, I haven’t quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact 
and it’s nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don’t
weep, do
you?

© 2011 Barbara Moore, Co-editor, Spiracle

2 comments:

Demian Ellspout said...

Every writer has some serious, others funny and still others seriously funny informal literary underpinnings early on in life. This brilliantly speaks with light elegance and honesty...

Wrexie said...

"Very early on, I realized the adults were fairly useless when it came to answering my questions." -- And so, we decide to learn to read, yes, and we decide to write our own lives and our own answers...we decide to write poetry, we define ourselves and the world and the unworld around us, and beyond us, and behind us, and pretty soon it begins to make more sense than anything else...in the beginning was the word...lovely, Barbara.

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